The most expensive things at Amazon

nrrd on #memepool and I were looking up some expensive things on Amazon, and I felt a blog post coming on, so here you have it: the most expensive things in every Amazon category.

Books: Super Bowl Opus MVP Edition (Leather Bound), $40,000 (with free shipping!). The second-most expensive “book” is a $12,000 collection of 201 psychology books.

DVDs: Mapping Your Value Stream, $280. DVDs are the great equalizer, apparently. This is a business logistics course on DVD. I stand corrected: Essential Art House – 50 Years of Janus Films, a 50-DVD collection for $764.99. Still, that’s only $15 per DVD!

Music: Luminous Arc: Music from the game, $6,442.99. The soundtrack to a Nintendo DS game that’s going to be released later this year.

Magazines: Comprehensive Data Base of US Chemical Patents. 12 months for $71,722. I knew this would end up being something other than what normal people consider magazines.

Toys: A city-park-size playground system for $32,229.59. The most expensive toy for a single child is an electric monster truck for $13,800. For that I bet the kid would have more fun with a real, yet not monster, truck.

Video games: A Playstation 3 60GB bundle for $799. No surprise there.

Audio-Video Electronics: A grandfather clock for $12,463.50. You were expecting a big TV? You’re wondering why a grandfather clock is Audio-Video Electronics? How about that.

Camera and Photo: A high-speed sheet-feed scanner for $14,805. I’m really surprised there’s no actual camera equipment up in that range.

Musical Instruments: Gulbransen Bottle Organ, $33,150. Now that’s the kind of thing I want to see as the most expensive thing in a category! The runners-up here are big outdoor searchlights, like you’d expect at a theatre opening, and a $17,500 violin-playing robot.

Electronics: HP StorageWorks SDLT Tape Library, $351,816. 400 tapes, 16 drives, 3.2TB capacity.

Computers and PC Hardware: The same HP tape library. Clearly no-one is paying attention to the category names at Amazon, what with this and the grandfather clock.

Office supplies: The same stupid tape library. #2 is an online coffee and chocolate business for sale for $55,000 (one used or new, hah).

Computer software: Cisco Security Agent, 100-license pack, for $64,274.84. Please excuse the computer-related doldrums, it gets more interesting shortly.

Automotive: A JIC EK2D1-TI res Spartan DE Type 1 TI Exhaust System for a 2dr 1996-2000 Honda Civic for… $891,480. I don’t understand either. #2 is an actual physical auto parts store for sale for $750,000.

Industrial and Scientific: a 3-Axis CNC Milling Machine for $22,195. From the photo I see that this is the thing you strap Bond to when you expect him to die.

Tools and Hardware: The number 9, for $254,623. So far I’ve been leaving out things that were mis-entered but that one was too weird not to share. The most expensive correctly-entered thing in this category is a $81,890 Thawzall construction site heater, although there’s also a notable $60,000 chandelier.

Gourmet Food: 4 lbs Russian Beluga Caviar for $10,560. I was expecting something even more ridiculous, but ok.

Grocery: Skin cream for $340, but that’s boring. How about 25 lbs of Altoids for $337? 22 lbs of chocolate powder for $313? (Gourmet Food and Grocery? Classist!)

Pet Supplies: Giant parrot cage for $3886.61. The cage is big. Standard parrots.

Bed and Bath: Egyptian cotton eiderdown comforter, $9435.99.

Fresh Flowers and Plants: 12 months of roses for $495. I think they’d get old fast.

Furniture & Décor:Goddard replica“, $9,999,999. I’m not sure what it’s a replica of, but I’m betting it’s not the entire space research complex. If that seems a bit too much, then there’s a $999,999 space rock paperweight. Incidentally Amazon themselves put the accent on the “e” in “Décor”.

(Right now I’m going “Holy cow, why did I start this? And why am I continuing?” But continue I do, for you, the reader.)

Home and Garden: Like a crazy top-ten list, this gets us the Goddard replica, the space rock paperweight, and the number 9! Other than those, there’s a $99,999 solar cell and an $85,000 antique 1840s Russian glass paperweight.

Outdoor Living: 10×18 Log Wedding Chapel with Wooden Roof, $20,319.97. Now this is the kind of ridiculous-but-not-impossible thing I wanted to find on a list of Amazon’s most expensive things. But a wedding chapel really ought to cost twenty grand, right? So there’s also a $14,662 barbecue grill that you could use beside your $13,997 tiki hut.

Apparel: Space suit, $999,999. I think they’re pulling my leg, though, so skipping over the jewelry that is in the wrong category, we have a $40,000 fur coat from WEBFURS. You know, if you’d asked me what WEBFURS was, I wouldn’t have guessed “fur coat company”.

Jewelry and Watches: This category got things started on IRC! #1 is a 7.12 carat diamond for $495,830. But that’s only potential jewelry, so there’s also a $225,000 Cartier tank watch with diamond band. Would you believe that the movement on that Cartier is quartz?

Shoes: Dolce and Gabbana boots, $1,596. That was disappointing.

Beauty: a Nicole Chignon Swarovski hairbun holder for $1700 which is clearly not a beauty product. #2 is a limited-edition 15ml bottle of Lalique Deux Coeurs perfume for $1600.

Health and Personal Care: 24-station home fitness centre, $39,999.

Kids and Baby: Grim Reaper on Skeleton Horseback Lifesize Prop, $2,995. In case your kids were turning out too well-adjusted.

Baby (which is apparently subtly different from “Kids and Baby”): Kensington traditional pram, $2,995. Boy, tough call between that and the grim reaper.

Exercise and Fitness: The same fitness centre as in Health and Personal Care. A bit down the list is a $25,187 jacuzzi spa with built-in flat panel TV.

Sporting Goods: Football arcade game, with real football-throwing, for $88,550. #2 is an extremely dorky golf cart for $77,988.

Thank God, it’s done. That was a lot of work with remarkably few lols. Ah, well, now you know not to try it yourselves!

(Edit: I’ve been linked from The Consumerist and Boing Boing! Hello, new people! And hello, mefites!)

62 responses to “The most expensive things at Amazon”

  1. The complete Star Trek DVD collection, when available, was a few thousand dollars.

    Tim, I think the items Kerry is looking for have to be sold by Amazon…you can’t get super-saver shipping on Marketplace products. And thank you Kerry, I am off to waste the rest of my work day. :)

  2. Stupidly Expensive eBay Auctions and Amazon Items…

    I always like periodically checking this page, as it’s basically all the items listed currently on eBay, sorted by highest price first. The current high item is a custom water-powered……

  3. As for the camera stuff I believe you’re wrong the hasselblad H3dII retails for $33,995.00 without a lens.

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